this is my 222nd entry (: and this is very important.
this post is dedicated to Baby, i think nobody deserves better. i know i made you really upset on friday, i said something i should never ever say. but through this, i know that you really really have faith in this relationship, cos from past experiences, normally you would just break it off, as far as i know. [I DONT MEAN ANYTHING ELSE!] you know it was very painful, to have you ignoring my calls and sms? i was very, very afraid. because our relationship is barely 2weeks yet, the bond is not so strong, and i was so afraid you would call it off. today, when i saw ur friends while i was tending the stall, i prayed hard that i wouldnt see you. not because i wanted to avoid you whatsoever, but because i thought that by not seeing you, means you're sick or maybe still sleeping, and thus, did not answer my calls. when i saw you, i felt bad. terribly bad. so bad i had to leave the stall to my friends and take a breather. you see baby, i need you ): i know its my fault, thats why i apologised so hard and so much for that silly mistake. monday is a very important day to me. you know it. and i told you many days ago, that i needed to see you on sunday, before the SYF. you know why? because seeing you makes me happy, i forget bout everything else. (: i cant do anything at ease now, i feel so useless, like i dont understand you at all. i dont even know what you're thinking. do you know at the beginning, i didnt even know why you were so upset with me at all? i thought you had moodswings or smth. it was only until i unintentionally checked my inbox, that i realised whats the problem? i remember us saying that unlike the comical couples, we'll never quarrel, so please baby, dont make this the first? i hate times like this. it feels lousy, it feels like shit. even though i'm done with the homecoming and thats one stuff striked-off from my to-do list, im still just as stressed as before. i cant afford to lose my only consolation now. you mean everything to me already. when i sent you the 4msg long sms, i had very high hopes. but after waiting for 3mins, i knew you werent prepared to reply me yet. then i sent you the other msg. and i really mean the last sentence. maybe i said this many times before, but its not enough. or maybe i said it too many times, till the phrase seems like nothing. but baby, as i say this again, i say with all my heart, i love you. and most imptly, im sorry, for everything. and im still waiting for your reply.
